Parents' Influence on Childrens' Morality

 Parents'Influence

  The Gallup Poll found (1076,1980) that more than 80 percent of parents 

with school-age children want the schools to teach "morals and moral 

behavior". One group of teachers opined. " Parents are copping out they 

want schools to do a job they ought to be doing themselves". Today, 

most writing about character develpment centers on the role of the school. 

However,classic wisdom holds that the family is the primary moral educator 

of che child.

   The famliy is the chief socializing influence on children. Parents transmit 

knowledge, walues, attituds, habites and so on to their children. As 

chirstopher pointed,  "A study conducted with eighty two families in a north

 western city found that both children and parents attributed greater similarity

 in values than actually existen".

  Children's morality and values highly influenced by parents is considered 

to be true because It is a constant presence that as soon as the children 

were born,they were influcenced by their parents .Only parents are able to 

surround a child with a spiritual heritage that supplies a larger vision of life's 

meaning and ultimate reason to lead a good life. And the affetive relationship

 beween parents and children deepends the impace of the parents' values 

and personal example (Steven,Sybil)

  Children can be consistently guided in a families' values and can learn them

 by seeing and partici-pating in parents' daily lives. F.Fhilip Rice (1990)

 indicacted that because children observe, parents have the oppotunity to

 exert both positive and negative influence over their children.

                   Positive and Negative Influence 

  Throngh words and examples, the parents shape childrens' personalities

 and instill models of thought and ways of acting that become habitual . So 

the role models parents provide can guide children's morality to direction 

which they think right . The models are also crucial in establishing life goals 

and working patterns in their children. 

      On the other hand , there maybe negative effects on children whoes 

parents' morality is bad . Children of alchihilics can only guess at what is 

moral, and they may grow up believing that consumption of alchohol is 

moral and necessary (Buscaglia.L1982).  What's more, in most cases, men

 learn to hate women because of their relationship with their own parents 

while growing up (Bernard and Bernard,1983)

   Children are considered to be sorne sort of shapless bloch of clay the 

parents' task was thought to shap them,to shape their behavior,but how 

can parentens do that effectively?

              How to Infulence Children Effectively

  Most of parents use threats, commands and other coercive disiplinary 

techniques to make their children behavior immorally. When they do that, 

children experience high levels of fear and anxiety. Berk,Laura.E(1991) 

found that , diciplinary techniqus that rely too heavily on power assertion or love withdrawl may produce such high levels of fear and anxiety that they infere with effective processing of the moral norm. As a result, although these methods may supress unacceptable behavior temporarily , in the long run they are ineffective in motivating moral intermalization. So parents should avoid using diciplinary techniqus but try the warm way.A warm parent cares about the child , expresses affection , frequently or reqularly puts the child's needs first , shows enthusiasm for che childs's activities and empathically to the child's feeling . Warmth makes children generally more responsible to guidance, so the parents affection and warmth increace the potency of the things that parents say to their children and efficiency of their dicipline. An investigation shows that in the first 2 years of life, children who was in warm and loving families are more empathic, more responsible to others and have high IQS in preschool and elementary school.(Hallen Bee,1995)

  In truth, moral education is the responsibility of society, school, family and so on . But family plays an important part in it . Children's morality does not burst out . It develops slowly through stages . Before parents can develop their children's morality,dear about what it is .

Reference: 

Berk Laura .E.1991 child Development 160 Gould Street . Needham 

                      Heights.Mao2194 Allyn and Bacon

Buscaglia,L.(1982).Living,loving and Learning. New York: Fawcett 

                               columbine. Christopher Bates Doob() Social Problems 

 F.Fhilip Rice, (1990) Intimate Relationships Marriages,and Families,1240 

                       Villa street Moutain View,California 94041:Mayfield Publishing company. 

 Gallup Poll,(1976,1980) http//www.crvp org/book/series 06/VI-3/chapter-x.

                      htm.

 Hallen Bee, 1995,The Developing Child,Seventh Edition, 10 East 53nd 

                    Street,New York,NY10022.

 Sybiwolin,PH.D&Steven Wolin,M.D,  Morality in COAS: Revisiting the 

                     syndrom of Over-Responsibilty.